Where Loyalties Lie (XII) - Soundwave X Dreadwing

The pressure on his neck was enough to capture Dreadwing's attention briefly despite his dwindling strength. After seeing Soundwave's display, it didn't surprise him that Soundwave had turned his anger on him. After all the trouble he'd put the mech through, he couldn't deny that he deserved it. And, in a way, the presence of such raw fury was comforting. It reminded him of Skyquake.

At least he was surrounded by those that mattered to him in these last few moments. It was more than his sparktwin had had on his deathbed. It was also a small comfort to know that, if he were to live, Soundwave playing along with what he had said to Wheeljack would afford him the opportunity to continue his assigned mission. "Thank you," he whispered to Soundwave.

Groaning, Dreadwing finally allowed unconsciousness to begin to dig its claws into him. His venting became shallow and half-sparked. His frame, stiff from pain and emotion, began to relax. His optics brightened for a brief nanoklik before dimming to a sickly, dull red. The world seemed farther and farther away. He couldn't even feel the pressure on his neck anymore….

A surprised gasp escaped him when something collided with his faceplates. The stinging pain forced away the blackness for a little while longer. What the slag was that? Hadn't Wheeljack left, or had he hallucinated that whole scenario? Lifting a shaking servo, Dreadwing reached up, trying to locate the source of the disturbance. He vented shakily when something grabbed his wrist, stopping him. Soundwave's needle-like fingers brushed against his palm for a fleeting moment. There was no way he couldn't recognize that touch. He'd spent too much time observing how Soundwave's servos, delicate yet dangerous, and how they moved.

What was he trying to communicate with that slap? "Soundwave," He muttered. "I'm sorry to ask this of you, but I… just can't, not like this. You have to tell me what you want to say. I can't see you and I'm too weak to guess at your intentions."

The pressure around his wrist increased, aggravating Dreadwing's already overstimulated pain sensors. A half-strangled scream escaped him. A wave of fear and horror crashed over him. Had he really just screamed like a weakling in front of Soundwave? All of his life he had sworn to himself he would die quietly, with honor.  And was Soundwave, in his anger, going to say something to him that would crush his spark? He held the power and ability to do so, and having witnessed the spymaster's ferocity he didn't put it past him.

"Why?" Soundwave asked. That was not a recording; it was impossible to mistake Soundwave's distinctive, raspy voice. Even after hearing Soundwave's screams, it might as well have been the first word Soundwave had ever uttered to him. The thrill it sent through him made him a shudder.

And the words weren't meant to destroy him; for that he was thankful.

He couldn't say what the why was aimed at, so he might as well explain everything. After all, he may never have another chance. "Soundwave… I chose you because you're loyal, hard-working, and strong. Stronger than I could ever hope to be. You're the cornerstone of the cause I have dedicated my life to. The whole time you've done your duty admirably. Nothing ever stands in your way. Who wouldn't admire that? You're simply… exemplary."

Soundwave's death grip on his wrist loosened a little, but he didn't let go quite yet.

"I couldn't stand by and let you take the fall for my mistake. It was a matter of honor. I had to face the consequences of my failure standing tall. Why should I let someone integral to the Decepticon cause be hurt for my sake alone?" he murmured. All of that was logical enough; if he really wanted to, he could leave his emotions out of this and stop there. However, the time for caution was well past. "I couldn't the stand the thought of you coming to harm. Soundwave… I care about our cause. I care about you."

There was only a little left to explain. "And… Soundwave, if I can ever hope to hold my helm up while standing by your side, I must be worthy of you. I can't neglect my duty. If the Autobots are to believe that I have come to them seeking refuge, they can't see a Decepticon defending me. So, that is why I said what I did."

Now he knew. A sad smile flashed across Dreadwing's faceplates. Yes, he knew, but it was too late. If only he'd had the confidence to say it sooner, before it came to this point.

At least the deed was done.

……………………………………………………………………………………

Soundwave let the Dreadwing's servo fall from his grasp. It hit the ground with a barely audible thump. The sound of Dreadwing's slowing fuel pump, his desperate venting, the cracking of his vocalizer. In that moment, he just wanted it all to stop. The anger had receded somewhat, not completely but enough that he was finally thinking with a clear processor. The problem was there was still too much to analyze. Even after getting his explanation, he was still unable to make sense of it all.

"… I can't see you…" he played back in Dreadwing's voice.

The only reaction the other mech gave was a slight twitch of his wing. No, no, no, no, no! Anger surged through Soundwave again. After all of that, Dreadwing was still going to just accept his fate without a fight?! At least that scream had shown he was still fighting, but this quiet acceptance was horrifying to him. His fingers twitched as he resisted the urge to slap him across the faceplates again. Instinctually, he knew that wouldn't work a second time.

Instead, he lowered himself to the ground and sat next to the mech's helm. A slight grimace flashed across his faceplates. Thankfully, Dreadwing couldn't see it because of the screen and his weakened optics. What he was about to do wasn't natural to him; such displays weren't a part of his personality, but in order to drag Dreadwing back he had to try something new. Grabbing Dreadwing under the armpits, he gently eased his torso onto his lap. The mech was large but posed little trouble for him. It took more than a little weight to foil the only gladiator that could stand against Megatronus.

Once he was settled, he cradled the mech's helm in his servos and repeated his plea.

"I can't see you, I can't see you, I can't see you," he played on a loop.

It wasn't the literal message that mattered. Soundwave had no overwhelming urge to inform Dreadwing of his blindness. No, it was the secondary meaning behind the words. Even after the explanation, Soundwave couldn't see Dreadwing. No matter how much he ached to see directly into his spark, the ability eluded him. With all his might, Soundwave wanted to form a bond with the mech like the one he had shared with Lazerbeak, one in which all emotions and thoughts were shared.

He wanted a connection with no mysteries.

Soundwave gently stroked Dreadwing's faceplates and kept playing the message, hoping to coax him back into the world.

"What… do you mean?" Dreadwing muttered.

Soundwave let out small cry of triumph. Not wasting any time, he reached out and grasped Dreadwing's servo again. His fingers fumbled frantically at Dreadwing's wrist, searching. How many times had he done a memory file transfer? Countless. How else would he have downloaded the surveillance video from Lazerbeak? However, the symbiote had been built to have a connection with him. It hadn't needed a direct path to complete the process. This was different.

Finally, Soundwave located the port on Dreadwing's wrist. In most circumstances, it was used by medics to download information on vitals, but it would double nicely for what he had in mind. Soundwave allowed a small cable to snake out of his forearm and plugged it into the port. Pulling up the appropriate memory file, he began to play the scene on his screen. Because of the direct feed, Dreadwing should be able to view it despite his temporary blindness.

They were both utterly still and quiet as the battle scene played; it was the day he'd lost his vision, the day he saved Skyquake, the day he tied his fate to Dreadwing's. Let him finally see what he had trouble putting words to.

All too soon, the scene was done and Soundwave disconnected from the port.

"You… saved him that day. I never knew. Skyquake never spoke of it," Dreadwing muttered, awestruck.

All that mattered was that Dreadwing's sparkbeat was stronger, his venting more even, his voice stronger and more steady. He'd achieved what he set out to do. He'd given the mech a reason to keep fighting.

"I never realized it before. After that battle…. The visor. That's when you started wearing it regularly," Dreadwing muttered, thinking aloud.

Sometimes the mech simply spoke too much. Under normal circumstances, Soundwave would have put a finger to his lip components to hush him up, but in this case every word that left his vocalizer meant he was still alive. His purpose done, Soundwave merely listened, as he was apt to do in so many other instances.

"I can't see you…" A moment of silence. A surprised grunt. "I understand now, Soundwave. I'm so sorry for what we did to you," Dreadwing finished.

An apology did not the change the past.

And then he heard the sound of engines approaching.  Autobot signals. His faceplates shifted into a vicious snarl and he jumped to his pedes, ready for another fight. It'd slipped his processors that Dreadwing's helm had been cradled in his lap. Dreadwing let out a pained gasp as his helm jarred against the ground.

"What is it?" Dreadwing asked.

Soundwave was too focused on the approaching threat to answer.

"It's them, isn't it? It only makes sense. That fight was bound to attract their attention; I'm surprised they didn't come sooner," Dreadwing muttered, thinking aloud once more.

Soundwave nudged Dreadwing with his pede, trying to silence him so he could focus properly. He was already beginning to draw on the deep wells of anger inside of him, priming himself for the battle to come.

"This is my fight. Leave, Soundwave," Dreadwing urged. "Don't interfere. Allow me to carry out Megatron's orders."

Soundwave kicked the ground in frustration. No, he didn't want to leave. After all the trouble he'd gone through, to just leave Dreadwing behind would go against everything. The old animosity welled up within him; no matter how hard he tried, Soundwave couldn't seem to forget the fact that Skyquake had thrown away his life despite his sacrifice, nor could he seem to stop himself from transferring that to Dreadwing despite how illogical that was.

However, his loyalties lied with the cause. Neither of them wanted to let Megatron down. Reluctantly, Soundwave transformed and took to the skies, leaving Dreadwing behind.